Christian Charity and The Cottonelle Conspiracy
By A local shut in 7/20/07
I use to buy it on my own
Now it’s delivered to my home,
Paper soft as goose’s down
On the doorstep can be found.
Kmart reads its label clear
But how’d it get from there to here.
Perhaps some wandering vagabond
Dropped it there and scurried on.
How they knew that kids and such
Like busy bees, could use so much
Why just today the comment made,
Where’s the bathroom tissue laid?
Your ears were burning without doubt
To know that we had just run out.
Now Sears and Roebuck can be used,
But Cottonelle is softly fused.
I will find out without fail
Who left behind this paper trail,
And when I do I promise you
A heartfelt thanks for coming through.