Christian Charity and The Cottonelle Conspiracy

By A local shut in 7/20/07

 

I use to buy it on my own

Now it’s delivered to my home,

Paper soft as goose’s down

On the doorstep can be found.

Kmart reads its label clear

But how’d it get from there to here.

Perhaps some wandering vagabond

Dropped it there and scurried on.

How they knew that kids and such

Like busy bees, could use so much

Why just today the comment made,

“Where’s the bathroom tissue laid?”

Your ears were burning without doubt

To know that we had just run out.

Now Sears and Roebuck can be used,

But Cottonelle is softly fused.

I will find out without fail

Who left behind this paper trail,

And when I do I promise you

A heartfelt thanks for coming through.